I just hate New Year’s

I have never been that person to go out or to party, to be in large groups, or some loud environments, or just to drink. I hate this pressure to celebrate the new year, that this exact moment or this time should mean something or change something, or we should be happy just for that. I hate feeling this pressure of that. I really hate that.

"I just hate that pressure about traditions."

I hate New Year’s, but in some ways I really love it. I love the time of it. I love the cold and the dark with the warm and the light inside. I love that contrast. I love when the snow is sitting on the trees. I love when we have hoar frost covering everything. I love how the days and the nights feel so cosy. I love making warm meals, I love hearing the familiar sounds in my house from the pressure of the furnace turning on. I love feeling the warm air blow at my feet standing at the kitchen sink.

Actually I would love to stay at home on New Year’s Eve, to play some board games and to make some glühwein. To light all of the candlesticks. I love to celebrate little moments, but in any day, not forced when we have this outside pressure. I started to book off the last couple New Year’s Eves from work because I hate feeling this pressure so much.

On this New Year’s Eve, I tucked away under a throw finishing my tea on the sofa, picking away at some lebkuchen around 7:30pm when I opened AuroraMax on my phone. The aurora was there already, so I checked some data, which also looked very good.

I hesitated because I knew there would be these celebrations outside. Fires on the lakes, cars and snowmobiles everywhere, fireworks. In some way, it would just be nicer to maybe take a warm bath and sleep early. But I bundled myself up, packed some hot tea and some sweets, and found myself a cosy corner on a frozen lake.

"I hate to feel this way that 'Oh, I should do that, I should be like that.' I shouldn't be like anything. Nobody should. We should just do what we feel like."

This night for me was not to celebrate New Year’s. There were fireworks over the treelines in the far distance - they looked beautiful, and a few more passing car lights than usual, but I left all of that aside to just do what I felt like. I didn’t watch the time, I didn’t make any special sayings or traditions. I just tried to enjoy what moment was there. Kicking off my mukluks to curl up and feel the warmth of my heated seat on my toes, how totally peaceful it feels to rest my head against the inside of my beautiful car and watch the aurora right out the window. All the hours I stayed were beautiful and perfect beyond imagination.