Confessions Behind the Lens

Well, it’s 1:33am right now and I’ve been thinking out this post since about midday Wednesday.  Everytime I’m somewhere in a position unable to write, thoughts flow perfectly to me.  Ever run across this phenomenon?

So, after I photographed my first wedding back on 3rd January – I knew two things for sure.  One, that this was something I wanted to do, probably well into my immediate future.  And two, that I was going to have to face the music of dealing with artificial light/strobes/off camera flash and every single thing that made me want to avoid this very subject for pretty much the rest of my life.  Few things in my life have made me more uncomfortable and feeling powerless than having to wrap my head around with what seem(ed) to be an entirely foreign language.  I’ve been comfortable, and relatively confident working with natural light and general ambiance – however I was starting to feel it’s limitations shooting in a near pitch black glass house reception.

And so, while I love what a nice ambiance and high ISO can pull in, I definitely needed to throw myself off that familiar cliff and expand myself just a little more.  I’m always, and especially lately for whatever reason, really pushed myself to be better.  Better than I used to be. Really hit stride with the potential that has to be there, because if it wasn’t – where does the desire come from to continue up the ladder to that next level?  So I’m about to drop a pretty penny, or maybe two, on some off camera lighting equipment and start to play, play, play with light!  If I said I wasn’t excited about it, I’d be lying.  And if I said the thought of this didn’t make me a little bit physically sick – I would also be lying.

Within the past week, I’ve launched an extremely powerful morning ritual I emerge myself into before I set my little toes onto the hardwood floor of my room from this bed of mine.  Gratitude.  Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude.  One thing that, every single morning, makes the top of a several page long list are my blog readers, and your comments & appreciation for this little space I’ve created here. Just within the past few weeks I’ve seen such an abundance of comments come flooding toward me (out of nowhere!), and I couldn’t be any more thankful for this.

I’ve been in touch with some wonderful people like Laura Ivanova who has such a well developed natural gift with her camera. Earlier I touched upon being better than I used to be, and knowing that is really whats in true harmony with ourselves. It’s not about being better than any other photographer, it’s about getting to this stage of constant development within ourselves and Nicole Haley is all about just that. She’s so filled with passion for work, and is always producing something new & remarkable. Becoming better than I used to be is made so simple when I’m so fortunate to be surrounded by the breathtaking work of Jamie Delaine & Courtney Reece, both of whom are my greatest sources of inspiration. Wow! And Anna Jarske… a wonderful & budding photographer in Helsinki, Finland, she’ll be joining me here in a couple weeks for two May weddings that I couldn’t be more excited about! Her & I have been wanting to shoot a wedding together for well over a year now, and the timing was right so she’s bringing herself over here to make that happen!

Thank you for visiting here and taking the time to read, and view, and enjoy. I couldn’t be more appreciative.